Memories...

When I opened my inbox this morning, I found some unexpected pictures of my dad. My aunt had digged them out from an almost forgotten CD. The are from the fall 2005. The cancer had already been detected in the summer, and the medication seemed to kick in well. So, he and my mum went on holidays to the Black Forest, and on that occasion got on some trips with Mechthild and Herbert.

The pictures are really nice, he looks happy, being in a 'Verkehrsmuseum', close to real trains. My dad was really fond of trains. Maybe that underestimating it a bit, he loved them, riding with them, taking pictures, collecting miniature trains, collecting articles from the papers, train tickets, old schedules, and anything you can imagine that has to do with trains. The dining room was never used for dining, the table and desk was buried in paper, boxes, pens, ect...and the floor covered with a miniature railway. On sundays or in the evenings, he would let the trains roll, laying on the floor, trying out a new purchase, just being very content and happy with the world.

When he got sick, things went very badly very fast. It looked promising in the beginning, the treatment kicked in. But the cancer had spread, moreover, the kidneys started failing, chemotherapy made everything worse. He could not keep any food down anymore. Mike was there for me and helped my getting through this difficult time.

Seeing these pictures makes my smile and cry at the same time. It's a weird and strange feeling. some wounds well never heal, they only hurt less. Some time memories will make us feel good, not sad, that's what I am hoping for.